Tuesday, June 5, 2012

A better... me. :)

Hello there! Long time no blog!

I'll have to admit, I haven't really thought about it.
I'm computerless and there is a lack of super nifty blogger iPhone apps. Well, I could Livejournal, but it's set to private and I'm way lazy. :B (keep your LJ comments to yourself)

BUT Today something compelled me to blog and share. I'm pretty proud of my grown-up blogging. I think I keep it classy, simple, sometimes witty and bright. This is a HUGE contrast to my earlier days where ALL I did was bitch and moan. Today's post is a lot of oversharing, with a bit of bitch and a smidge of moan, but about human things. MY human things. MY health things. I mean, everything is fine. I'm in pretty good health and since my last dr's visit, everything is in working order!

Anyways, I'm here to talk about my weight. DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN.

What can I say? I talk about my weight a lot. I have some weight management buddies who text on a consistant weekly basis. We keep eachother motivated and upbeat. In the presence of my loving and devoted boyfriend, however, I bitch about it and put myself down. Not fishing for complements, but just because I NEED to say it out loud. Here, however, I'm focusing on change. Making myself accountable. Just sharing in a greater community of people participating and living the Weight Watchers program or any other weight loss, management, make-your-self-feel-better-in-a-healthy-way "diet". It'll help me document and maybe inspire some people. I'm also super obsessed with following WW blogs, twitter-ers, instagramers and facebookers, so maybe it's time to become one of the semi-vocal ones.
I know that it's an open invite for horrible mean people, but more importantly it's an invite for awesome wonderful people who are looking for other pretty awesome people going through the same thing.

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Hi. My name is Inthia. I love food. I love all kinds of food. I love to make it, eat it and share it. I just eat a little too much and I don't move around enough.


I work in an office where I sit and rarely get up. I like to think I love being outdoors, but I just end up being uncomfortable and grouchy. I haven't ran in over 10 years, I'm weak in the arms and I've never been thin.

I also HATE the word "diet" as in "I'm on a diet, i can't eat that," and if you tell me to not eat something, you had best believe I'm going to eat it. Multiple times.

I eat when I'm happy, sad, mad, disappointed, anxious and everything in between.

So, I joined WW a few years ago. Lost over 50lbs and never reached my goal. I learned how to treat my body better and more importantly my mind. I knew why I was eating. I never thought of it a "diet" and I still don't. Here I am, 50lbs back on me. Relearning and changing my eating habits and reformatting my mind. Food isn't evil. I can be beautiful, yummy, pretty, funny, happy and tear-jerking. It brings families, friends, communities and people together. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE FOOD.

I'm also a baker and that's NEVER going to change.

I'm recommitting myself for a few reasons. Mainly because I'm deeply in love and we do things. Outside. Pervs. We go places and in these places, there are cameras and they photos. OF EVERYTHING. In my memories, I had a super fun awesometime. In the photo record, all I see is a super huge girl. This girl is oddly shaped and bigger than everyone else and makes me cringe and squirm and want to hide.

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In addition to these nightmarish documentation, I've managed to overgrow my comofy "fat pants" and my knees hurt and I pretty much hate myself. I want to see photos and remember things well. I want to not want to hide behind other people in group photos. I just want to be proud of myself. I'm never going to be super tiny, but I can be healthier. This is my ultimate goal. I met someone I want to spend a long time with. I want it to be healthy and hassle free times. So here we go. Recommitting and documenting.

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Thanks for listneing. :)
*i

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ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

8 comments:

  1. I have to start this by saying that I think you are a beautiful person, inside and out. I have to follow that by saying that your post brought me to tears...Not tons of tears, but I did tear up and had to pretend that something was in my eye when my boss inadvertently walked into my office... why, you may ask? Because it reminds me of someone that I know... me! I have been struggling with the same issue for the past few years and while WW worked for me, I sabotaged myself too. These last couple of weeks have been very rough for me... stress, anxiety, exhaustion... all work/family related... and nothing has brought me comfort like a huge serving of shaved ice with ice cream at the bottom. I am in the same boat as you in regards to the picture situation...I look at the memories that I've documented the past couple of years and the majority of those pictures do not include me or include me from the shoulders up. That sucks. I am with you on this and I will gladly give you any support that is necessary. A better Inthia will hopefully be joined by a better Maira. <3

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    1. <3, thank you for your love and support.

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  3. Inthia! I know exactly what you mean about the online pictures. Remember how cute and tiny I was when I lived in Fullerton? Yeah. I've gained 40 pounds since I moved to New York. 40!! The blogger lifestyle combined with stress and Manhattan's 8 gazillion restaurants have made me fat. And despite all the fun I've had and everything I've accomplished since I've been here, all anyone from home gets to see of me is how much weight I've gained. I didn't even post my wedding pictures, I was so ashamed. And friends mean well when they photograph us, but they don't always show us at our best. Exercise, eat well, and put the freaking camera away. There's nothing wrong with storing memories in your brain. But for the record, I love seeing your happy face online!

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    1. I feel the same about you.

      Thank you so much for your comment and support. It's refreshing to know I'm not alone.

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  4. Such a brave woman. Take back the power! Yay you!!

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  5. Hi Inthia! I just had a chance to read this.....better late than never :(

    What a great Blog posting! I am glad to be one of your WW friends. xo -Lillian

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